He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize