Old men and throwing up are my life now.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
