First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
