went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Randomize
