me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
