whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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