Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
