dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I just gargled with NyQuil
I need water and some morals
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
