brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize