Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
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