We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
