it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Randomize
