And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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