so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
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