dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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