sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
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