I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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