Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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