Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
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