She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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