Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
