Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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