think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I will die if light touches me.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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