Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
