i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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