this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
