Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
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