You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
