I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
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