Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
