Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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