you're like a bully in the Christmas story
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
