I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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