Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
