Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Randomize
