I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Randomize
