Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
farters have to be the big spoon...
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
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