turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
