I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
