I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
