you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
