He disabled his match.com account in front of me
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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