whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
