why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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