The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
