Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
