i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
