i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
