i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
either way he was missing a nipple.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
His nipple licking is glorious
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