sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
