talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
