im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
