I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
