Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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