R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
it glows. i had to have it.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
