A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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