Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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