theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
