So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Brb crying the tears of my youth
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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