Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
