Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
