SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize