it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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